Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh, Andy, a C minus in Women's Studies.
President Andrew Shepherd: Yeah, well, that class wasn't about what I thought it was about.

Casey: Listen asshole!
Phone Voice: No you listen to me you little bitch! You hang up on me again and I'll gut you like a fish!

Roger, I used to be just like you. But look at me now, I'm awesome! I run this entire place. I'm dating TWO Asian chicks!

Ian

Miranda Hobbes: [at a bar, drinking Cosmopolitans] Why did we ever stop drinking these?
Bradshaw: Because everyone else started!

Carrie Bradshaw: What makes you think something bad is gonna happen?
Charlotte York: Because! Nobody gets everything they want! Look at you, look at Miranda. You're good people and you two both got shafted. I'm so happy and... something bad is going to happen.
Carrie Bradshaw: Charlotte... you pooped in your pants in Mexico.

Officer Jim Gilpin: You ever hear the expression the simplest answer is often the correct one?
Detective Rhonda Boney: Actually, I have never found that to be true.

George: I don't know why Cletus drug your tired old bones in here, he musta owed you somethin' fierce. Fact is, mister, you start screwin' up this team, I'll personally hide-strap your ass to a pine rail and send you up the Monon Line!
Coach Norman Dale: Leave the ball, will you, George?

James Carter: Secret Service Agent James Carter, I like the sound of it. Won't be long before I'm in Washington D.C. protectin' the President.
Lee: We both know you wouldn't take a bullet for someone else.
James Carter: Yeah but they don't know that.

Trish: Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here?
Han Sing: I missed you.
Trish: You missed me? I'm gonna miss you when my father finds out you're here.

Kurt: Listen up, Margo, those action figures are very important to me. They're worth a lot of money. And if I don't see every damned one back on my desk pretty soon, then, you can tell your teddy to watch his back.
Margo: [returns one action figure] I'll return them, one at a time... You going to Cindy's party?
Lars Lindstrom: Oh, no.
Margo: I was hoping you would. I really wish you would.
Lars Lindstrom: Do you think I could bring my girlfriend?
Margo: Oh, um, yeah, yeah, I'm totally bringing somebody
Lars Lindstrom: Hm.

Buzzards' guts, man!

Abraham Lincoln

Tess Ocean: Ma Marcus?
Julia Roberts: Um... No it's Julia.
Tess Ocean: um... oh... Hello Julia... it's ah... Julia.

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