Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians?
Macaulay Connor: No!
Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings?
Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work?
Margaret Lord: I don't think so! It's for a violin. Oh well, no matter!

If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down... Oops, looks like I forgot my own rule
[flushes the toilet]

Bernie Focker

Harry: Where's Julian?
Erica: He's back at the hotel. He said when he saw me with you, he knew I was still in love with you... what do you have to say about that?
Harry: If... if it's true, my life just got made.

Walter Sobchak: You have got to buck up, man. You cannot drag this negative energy in to the tournament!
The Dude: Fuck the tournament... Fuck YOU, Walter!
Walter Sobchak: Fuck the tournament? All right, I can see you don't want to be cheered up here, Dude. Come on Donny, let's go get us a lane.

Lee: You are a civilian. In Hong Kong, *I* am Michael Jackson and *you* are Toto.
James Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate for dinner last night!

Barton Keyes: You know, you, uh, oughta take a look at the statistics on suicide some time. You might learn a little something about the insurance business.
Edward S. Norton: Mister Keyes, I was RAISED in the insurance business.
Barton Keyes: Yeah, in the front office. Come now, you've never read an actuarial table in your life, have you? Why they've got ten volumes on suicide alone. Suicide by race, by color, by occupation, by sex, by seasons of the year, by time of day. Suicide, how committed: by poison, by firearms, by drowning, by leaps. Suicide by poison, subdivided by *types* of poison, such as corrosive, irritant, systemic, gaseous, narcotic, alkaloid, protein, and so forth; suicide by leaps, subdivided by leaps from high places, under the wheels of trains, under the wheels of trucks, under the feet of horses, from *steamboats*. But, Mr. Norton, of all the cases on record, there's not one single case of suicide by leap from the rear end of a moving train. And you know how fast that train was going at the point where the body was found? Fifteen miles an hour. Now how can anybody jump off a slow-moving train like that with any kind of expectation that he would kill himself? No. No soap, Mr. Norton. We're sunk, and we'll have to pay through the nose, and you know it.

Mr. Pickles: We're exterminators! Of justice!
Mr. Gristle: We exterminate justice!

Justin Wincott: Dad's left a really weird message and disappeared.
Carmen: Let's do this.
Justin Wincott: Max... go search.

Thorin Oakenshield: I am sorry that I made you a part of my perils...
Bilbo Baggins: No! I am glad to have shared in your perils - that is more than any Baggins deserves!

Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.

Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.

Dieter Von Cunth: "Have you ever been to DC?"
Guy: "No, sir. I haven't."
Dieter Von Cunth: "I was talking to the missile."

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