Kevin: Marriage is a concept invented by people who were lucky to make it to 20 without being eaten by dinosaurs. Marriage is obsolete.
Alec: Dinosaurs are obsolete. Marriage is still around.
Chon Wang: I look like a fool.
Roy: What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty!
Chon Wang: But I'm Chinese.
Roy: It's the same thing.
Vaughn Haige: There are 3 moments I'll remember 'til the day I die. 1: the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard law school. 2: Helping a beached mother whale give birth. And... 3: You and me, together, here, tonight.
Shapely Bartender: Don't speak to me again... ever.
Andrew Beckett: That's their story. Wanna hear mine?
Joe Miller: How many lawyers did you go to before me?
Andrew Beckett: Nine.
Joe Miller: Go on.
Luke: I can eat fifty eggs.
Dragline: Nobody can eat fifty eggs.
Society Red: You just said he could eat anything.
Dragline: Did you ever eat fifty eggs?
Luke: Nobody ever eat fifty eggs.
Prisoner: Hey, Babalugats. We got a bet here.
Dragline: My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
Loudmouth Steve: Yeah, but in how long?
Luke: A hour.
Society Red: Well, I believe I'll take part of that wager.
Looks like we got us a sow here instead of a boar.Mountain Man
White Goodman: This is it, La 'Loser.' You ready for the, whoo, hurricane?
Peter La Fleur: Just don't go cryin' to your mommy when I spank you in front of all these people, White.
White Goodman: You don't go cryin' to your daddy after I wipe it up with your face.
Peter La Fleur: Oh, hey White.
White Goodman: Yeah?
Peter La Fleur: You look awful fat in those pants.
Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What's that?
Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.
Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: It's true. My surprises, they are rarely unexpected.
You go into the arena alone. The lions are hungry for you.Rhett Butler
Holden: Oh my God. Who are you, Larry fucking Flynt? What are you going to do with all of those?
Banky Edwards: Read the articles. What do you think I'm going to do with them? They're stroke books, stupid!
Holden: You've got like 30 books there! We're only going to be gone for two days!
Banky Edwards: Variety's the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I'm in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Sometimes it's a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it's girl-on-girl time. Sometimes a steamy letter will do it, sometimes ... not often, but sometimes ... I like the idea of a chick with a horse.
Marshal Henry: I may be crazy but that train sounds like an el.
Cosmo Renfro: St. Louis doesn't have an elevated train.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: How do you know it's an elevated train?
Marshal Stevens: I think he's right, I lived under an el for 20 years.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Then you can explain the difference in the sound of an elevated train as opposed to a train that's running along the ground. You must have ears like a eagle, play that back, I wanna hear the sound of an elevated train!