I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling out-my-penis in-front-of you-ophobe.

Dave Buznik

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?

I just fell off a *donkey*!!!

Tibby

Drax the Destroyer: I like your knife, I'm keeping it.
Peter Quill: You're welcome.

Holden McNeil: We've got to beat traffic.
Banky Edwards: What traffic? It's 1:30 in the morning!
Holden McNeil: Yeah, and rush hour starts in six hours. Let's go.

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Marshall Strickland. I didn't know you was back in town.
Marshall Strickland: If you can't read the sign, Tannen, I presume you can read THIS.

You're not ashamed of me. You're really ashamed of yourself. Tell Lulu, easy on the chronic.

Korean Mother

Max Von Mayerling: You see those offices up there? That was Madame's dressing room, the whole row.
Joe Gillis: Didn't leave much for Wallace Reid.
Max Von Mayerling: Oh, he had a big bungalow on wheels.

[flying Howard's plane] Howard, there's a rather alarming mountain heading our way.

Katharine Hepburn

Jules: I thought you were taking steps to phase out everything that wasn't working in your life.
Wendy: That doesn't leave much.

Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, okay?

Eliza Doolittle: [singing] I shall not feel alone without you, I can stand on my own without you. So go back in your shell, I can do bloody well without...
Professor Henry Higgins: [singing] By George, I really did it, I did it, I did it! I said I'd make a woman and indeed, I did. I knew that I could do it, I knew it, I knew it! I said I'd make a woman and succeed, I did!
[speaking]
Professor Henry Higgins: Eliza, you're magnificent. Five minutes ago, you were a millstone around my neck, and now you're a tower of strength, a consort battleship. I like you this way.
[pause]
Eliza Doolittle: Goodbye, Professor Higgins. You shall not be seeing me again.

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