Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?

Dave Buznik

I shall restore the family business to its former glory.

Barnabas Collins

Oooooh, Witchy! Oops. Did I just say 'witch'?

Chase Collins

At the risk of stating the obvious, you're insane.


Jim Stark: Nobody talks to children.
Judy: No, they just tell them.

Trixie: Was that a ninja?
Pops Racer: More like a "non"-ja.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Are you blind? Are you blind?
Charlie Simms: Of course not.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Then why do you keep grabbing my goddamn arm? I take your arm.
Charlie Simms: I'm sorry.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Don't be sorry. How would you know? You've been watching MTV all your life.

Riley Poole: Okay, Ben, pay attention. I've brought you to the Library of Congress. Why? Because it's the biggest library in the world. Over 20 million books. And they're all saying the same exact thing: Listen to Riley.

I, too, don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra to stay away from that sort of stuff, but someone comes along saying, I've got powders where if you put up a three to four thousand dollar investment, you can make fifty thousand distributing, then there is no way to resist it. I want to keep it respectable.

Don Zaluchi

Paul Rusesabagina: General, these are difficult times, we need to help one another.
General Bizimungu: And what help can I get from you, Paul?
Paul Rusesabagina: You are a marked man, sir!
General Bizimungu: How so?
Paul Rusesabagina: You're on a list, the Americans have you on a list as a war criminal.
General Bizimungu: Paul, I am sick and tired of your lies.
Paul Rusesabagina: Are you stupid General? How do you think these people operate? You sit here with five stars on your chest, who do you think they're coming after?
Paul Rusesabagina: Fine, we will go to Gitzarama and you will stay on that list.
General Bizimungu: I committed no war crimes.
Paul Rusesabagina: Who will tell them? You need me to tell them how you helped at the hotel. They blame you for all their misfortunes. They say you lead the massacres
General Bizimungu: I lead no massacres!
Paul Rusesabagina: Do you think they will believe you?
General Bizimungu: You will tell them the truth!
Paul Rusesabagina: I will tell them nothing unless you help me.
[General reaches for gun]
Paul Rusesabagina: What- what are you going to do... shoot me? Shoot me. Please shoot me. It would be a blessing. I would pay you to shoot my family. You can not hurt me.
General Bizimungu: You will tell them I did nothing!
Paul Rusesabagina: We are leaving. Right now.

Andie: Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columbia, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want.
Ben: Like, shoes?

Joshua: Are you married, Mr. Kimble? Detective
John Kimble: No, I'm not.
Joshua: [shouts] He's not married, Mom!

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