Frank: A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums.
Ed: No way for a man to die.
Frank: No... you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.
Wilma Nordberg: [cries] Oh... Frank. This is terrible.
Ed: Don't you worry Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank: He's right, Wilma. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
[Wilma cries again]
Ed: What I'm trying to say is that Wilma, as soon as Nordburg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense...
[Wilma cries again]

Kai: I was afraid prison would make you soft.
Han Sing: People don't get soft in prison.

Alonzo Harris: Hey, first Damu puts one in his head... I'll make you a rich man.
Bone: You got us twisted, homey. You got to put your own work in around here.
Alonzo Harris: All right, it's like that, Bone ?
Bone: It's like that.

All right, I gotta get this speck up to the top of Mount Nool A.S.A.P, whatever that means, probably act swiftly awesome packaderm! I mean, how hard can that be?

Horton

Not even the younglings survived.

Obi-Wan

[waving to alien]
David Levinson: Hey, take a look at the earthlings. Goodbye!
Captain Steven Hiller: Y'all take care, alright, 'nothing but love for ya. I ain't got nothing by love for ya.
[to David]
Captain Steven Hiller: You think they have any idea what's about to happen to them?
David Levinson: Not a chance in hell. Goodnight!

Willie: You're gonna get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory!
Indiana Jones: Maybe. But not today.

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my $12,000 calf skin jacket. So ya got the semen, okay you got the human ejaculate ... [checks watch] ... thats been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric fuckin fibers...
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a fuckin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
Hugo Croop: Do you want an apology?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really truly mean it.

Mary Jane: I wanna... act. On stage.
Peter Parker: Really? Well that's perfect. You were awesome in all the school plays.
Mary Jane: Really?
Peter Parker: Yeah. I cried like a baby when you played Cinderella.
Mary Jane: Peter, that was first grade.
Peter Parker: Well, even so...

Neo: Why do my eyes hurt?
Morpheus: You've never used them before.

Stuntman Mike: Do I frighten you?
[Arlene nods]
Stuntman Mike: Is it my scar?
Arlene: It's your car.

Matilda: I've been trying to reach you for a week.
Derek Zoolander: A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
Matilda: That was last Friday.
Derek Zoolander: Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?

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