Ok, I'm drawing a line in the (expletive) sand. Do not read the Latin!

Marty

Dr. Jules Hilbert: The thing to determine conclusively is whether you are in a comedy or a tragedy. Have you met anyone who simply might loathe the very core of you?
Harold Crick: I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well, that sounds like a comedy!

I've lived by their rules my entire life. I've protected them. envied them. and for what? To be treated like an animal. We are not animals! Is this want you want? We can be slaves, or we can be... LYCANS!

Lucian

What if this is as good as it gets?

Melvin Udall

Natalie: Terrence started seeing my dad after his mom died. She left him everything. He was 41 when I was 13. He told me I was pretty. And he made me believe it. One day, he broke my collar bone, and I had to hitch-hike to the emergency room, and I passed out on the side of the road, and somebody found me. My dad told him that he'd press charges and that he'd go to jail unless he donated money to my college fund. Then he did. $75, 000.
Augusten Burroughs: That's so great. So if you'd just apply--
Natalie: My dad spent it. Every penny. So that the IRS wouldn't take this house. So... I do know what it's like, Augusten... to love somebody who doesn't deserve it. 'Cause they're all you have. God, I hate my life.
Augusten Burroughs: I hate this kitchen. I need high ceilings.
Natalie: Me too.
Augusten Burroughs: Let's get rid of it then. Let's take down the ceiling.

Mac: Oh, c'mon, we're like the sons you never had.
Captain O'Hagan: If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now.
Mac: Smothered me in gravy you big dirty man.

Cotton McKnight: Oh! Right in the testicles!
Pepper Brooks: Ouchtown, population you, bro!

Hermione: [to Ron] I won't be going alone because, believe it or not, someone's asked me.
[gets up and hands her book to Snape, then turns back to Ron]
Hermione: And I said *yes*!

I gotta wonder what a bastard I have been. That nobody was there to claim me. I mean I am not the most charming guy on the world so I've been told... but... nobody?

Hancock

Vinny Gambini: My clients were caught completely by surprise. They thought they were getting arrested for shoplifting a can of tuna.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: What are you telling me? That they plead not guilty?
Vinny Gambini: No. I'm just trying to explain.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I don't want to hear explanations. The state of Alabama has a procedure. And that procedure is to have an arraignment. Are we clear on this?
Vinny Gambini: Yes, but there seems to be a great deal of confusion here. You see, my clients...
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Uh, Mr. Gambini?
[Motions for him to approach the bench]
Judge Chamberlain Haller: All I ask from you is a very simple answer to a very simple question. There are only two ways to answer it: guilty or not guilty.
Vinny Gambini: But your honor, my clients didn't do anything.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Once again, the communication process broken down. It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process, go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal. Well, I'm not about to revamp the entire judicial process just because you find yourself in the unique position of defending clients who say they didn't do it.

What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?

Randal Graves

Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Po

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