I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.

Columbus

Is there any way you could lend me some money? Maybe... 20 million dollars?

General Aladeen

It's not your blood they needed. It was my father's blood. My blood... the blood of a pirate.

Will Turner

Coach Yoast: I think this is a very good time for prayer and reflection...
Bertier: Coach, I'm hurt. I'm not dead.

Jim Braddock: For two hundred and fifty dollars I would fight your wife!
Joe Gould: Now you're dreaming
Jim Braddock: ...and your grandmother, at the same time.
Joe Gould: Teeth in or teeth out?
Jim Braddock: Take 'em out!
Joe Gould: Then you're dead, you're down, you're gone, no chance!
Jim Braddock: Two hundred and fifty bucks?
Joe Gould: Two hundred and fifty bananas!
Jim Braddock: Joey!

Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.
Thurgood Jenkins: You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

Hitch: Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.'
Albert: [making holding gestures at different levels] Okay... Friends. Ass. Me.

If he tells you to stick the drugs in your ass, you stick them in your ass.

Sergio Roma

I am a rooster illusion.

Tugg Speedman

I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, in a situation like this, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are... wrong. I'mright.

Ronald Quincy

No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.

Rhett Butler

Barbara Lovell: Dad, can I please wear this?
Jim Lovell: Sure.
Marilyn Lovell: Jim!
Jim Lovell: No! No, absolutely not.

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