[after Joel's Princeton interview]
Lana: So, how're we doin'?
Joel Goodson: Looks like University of Illinois!

Russell Ziskey: You could join a monastery.
John Winger: Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?
Russell Ziskey: Never.
John Winger: So much for the monastery.

Gill: All right, gang, we have less than 48 hours before Darla gets here. This tank will get plenty dirty in that time, but we have to help it along any way we can. Jacques.
Jacques: Oui.
Gill: No cleaning.
Jacques: I shall resist.
Gill: Everybody else, be as gross as possible. Think dirty thoughts. We're gonna make this tank so filthy the dentist will HAVE to clean it.

Did you know that I was struck by lightning seven times?

Mr. Daws

Raoul Duke: We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.

I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, in a situation like this, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are... wrong. I'mright.

Ronald Quincy

Bartleby Gaines: What the hell happened?
Glen: An explosion of flavor. I'm working with some very unstable herbs.

Natalie: Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.
Shelley: Yeah, hence!



Here come the local pubescent prowls. The future plumbers, shop assistants, and probably terrorists too. In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and whack mags. Now it's knives and crack cocaine. And they call it progress.

Barbara Covett

Mutt Williams: A scorpion just stung me, am I gonna die?
Indiana Jones: How big?
Mutt Williams: Huge!
Indiana Jones: Good.
Mutt Williams: Good?
Indiana Jones: When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites ya, don't keep it to yourself.

[Inside the whale] I have to get out of here! I have to find my son! I have to tell him how old sea turtles are!


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