That's some bad hat, Harry.Brody
[standing before a training dummy] Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!Po
Natalie: Terrence started seeing my dad after his mom died. She left him everything. He was 41 when I was 13. He told me I was pretty. And he made me believe it. One day, he broke my collar bone, and I had to hitch-hike to the emergency room, and I passed out on the side of the road, and somebody found me. My dad told him that he'd press charges and that he'd go to jail unless he donated money to my college fund. Then he did. $75, 000.
Augusten Burroughs: That's so great. So if you'd just apply--
Natalie: My dad spent it. Every penny. So that the IRS wouldn't take this house. So... I do know what it's like, Augusten... to love somebody who doesn't deserve it. 'Cause they're all you have. God, I hate my life.
Augusten Burroughs: I hate this kitchen. I need high ceilings.
Natalie: Me too.
Augusten Burroughs: Let's get rid of it then. Let's take down the ceiling.
Women are about as good at a cappella as they are at being doctors.John
Kevin: Well, you're all I think about.
Kevin: And I think the reason I'm not interested in other women, and why I haven't had sex in so long, is because I'm desperately, completely in love with you.
What? He missed? Sorter never fucking misses.Macha
[shouting, smashing car with golf club] This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!Walter Sobchak
Eddie: Oh, and if Tom or anyone else for that matter feels like givin' them a bit of a kickin', I'm sure it won't do any harm.
Soap: Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Tom: Soap, is there something we should know about you?
Bacon: I'm not sure what's more worrying. The job or your past.
John Chambers: [after hearing of the plan to get the hostages out] So you want to come to Hollywood, act like a big shot...
Tony Mendez: Yeah.
John Chambers: ...without actually doing anything?
Tony Mendez: Yeah.
John Chambers: [smiles] You'll fit right in!
Master Vampire: I have been waiting and eternity for a man of your strength to arrive. But what kind of man crawls into his own grave in search of hope?
Vlad Tepes: A desperate one.
So long boys. See you in the funny papers.Big Dan Teague
Very funny, George. This one will make you laugh.Jake Green
[shoots George in the foot]