Oh, and next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. [silence] So, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Bill Lumbergh

I wish monkeys could skype.

Alan

Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It's an ability.

Marty Barasco

Alvin: [during a chase] They'll never take us alive!
Simon: [in the cat carrier] They just did take us alive, Alvin!

I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, it's so bleedin' boring, isn't it?

Raymond Calitri

So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette

MacGruber: "Don't worry we got your back. We're only 7 blocks away. So if anything goes down..."
Vicki St. Elmo: "7 blocks?"
MacGruber: "Okay, you got me. About 20 blocks."
Vicki St. Elmo: "Wasn't there anything closer?"
MacGruber: "Nope."
Lt. Dixon Piper: "There were tons of spots closer."
MacGruber: "Yeah, with meters!"

Peter Parker: Mr. Jameson, please, isn't there any of these shots you can use? I really need the money.
J. Jonah Jameson: Awww. Miss Brant?
Miss Brant: Yeah?
J. Jonah Jameson: Get me a violin.

Steve Montgomery: Telekinesis: The ability to move, lift, vibrate, spin, bend, break or impact objects through the direct influence of mental power or other non-physical means.
Andrew Detmer: Sound familiar?
Matt Garetty: Does sound familiar. You want to see direct influence? Andrew...

You wouldn't have a match by any chance would you?

Chuck Noland

Nigel: [quietly] Okay, don't make any sudden moves. Hop inside my mouth... if you want to live.
Marlin: Hop in your mouth, huh? And how does that make me live?
Seagulls: Mine?
Nigel: Because I can take you to your son.
Marlin: Yeah, right.
Nigel: No, I know your son. He's orange and has a gimpy fin on one side.
Marlin: That's Nemo!

Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. What do you want?
Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.
Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.

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