Beau Hutton: [they're riding on a train] So, what do you think?
Kelly Canter: I think I'm Kelly Canter and I'm breaking the law!

Marcus: I've never had a hero before. But you are my hero.
Miep Gies: Oh, no. No, no, no, young man, no. I am not a hero. No. I did what I had to do... because it was the right thing to do. That is all.

Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!

Chuck Levine: Would you wear a yarmulke? It would make my mother proud.
Larry Valentine: I'm not wearing a yarmulke. Come on.
Chuck Levine: I'm Jewish. I don't want to piss my mother off.
Larry Valentine: Yeah? Well, I'm Catholic. I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off.

First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. Anyway, I'm here with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the "blue heart of the ocean" jewel over the railing of Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown, while you were safe floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?

Bruce

Chad: So, you're coming with me to the after-party, right?
Taylor: As in, like, a date?
Chad: Must be your lucky day.

Rudeness is an epidemic.

Hannibal Lecter

Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Nicholas Angel: Well however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account. And that's what the team are gonna make of this.
[gets up and opens the door, where the team standing below a sign reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Just call me Frank. Call me Mr. Slade. Call me... Colonel, if you must, just don't call me 'Sir'.
Charlie Simms: All right. Colonel.

What's with you, kid? You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?

Mel

Very funny, George. This one will make you laugh.
[shoots George in the foot]

Jake Green

Jesse Aarons: Leslie Burke told me to keep my mind wide open.
Ms. Edmonds: And she's right. With a mind like yours wide open, you could create a whole new world.

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