Willy Wonka: Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!
Charlie Bucket: You can eat the grass?
Willy Wonka: Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Miracle Max: Go away or I'll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: You *are* the Brute Squad?

Calvin Candie: Your boss looks a little green around the gills.
Django: He just ain't used to seein' a man ripped apart by dogs is all.
Calvin Candie: But you are used to it?
Django: I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is.

Finn McMissile: "Finn McMissile, British intelligence."
Mater: "Tow Mater, average intelligence."

After 19 years in the big leagues, 40 year old Billy Chapel has trudged to the mound for over 4000 innings. But tonight, he's pitching against time, he's pitching against the future, against age, against ending. Tonight, he will make the fateful walk to the loneliest spot in the world, the pitching mound at Yankee Stadium, to push the sun back into the sky and give us one more day of summer.

Vin Scully

The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.


Lou: "Here's a question: Was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question: Do I give a f***?"

Get your dirty, webbed phalanges off of my boots!


Daxos: I saw those ships smashed on the rocks. How can this be?
Stelios: We saw but a fraction of the monster that is Xerxes' army.
Daxos: There can be no victory here... why do you smile?
Stelios: Arcadian, I've fought countless times, yet I've never met an adversary who could offer me what we Spartans call "A Beautiful Death." I can only hope, with all the world's warriors gathered against us, there might be one down there who's up to the task.

Mr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker."

Peter Gibbons: Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir: Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Peter Gibbons: Samir, this is America.

Pete Hansen: What's wrong, Pookie?
Jenna: Pookie? Uh... *Pukie!* You're married!

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