I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.

Gretchen

Rocky: Hey... you know how I said that stuff on TV didn't bother me none?
Adrian: Yeah?
Rocky: It did.

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Harry Burns

Korean Mother: Ling-Ling, You walk right by Crazy Nail. No say hi me.
Ling Ling: Hi mom.

Well there won't be any berries in the fruit salad now, so we all lose.

Oh

Danny Butterman: Do you want anything from the shop?
Nicholas Angel: Cornetto

Derek Vinyard: D'you see this?
[Pulls down shirt to reveal huge swastika tattoo on his chest]
Derek Vinyard: This means "Not welcome."

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

Sid Garner

Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn't have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.

You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack.

Nick Naylor

Well, well, well - looks like diplomacy has failed.

Col. Quaritch

[narrating] This part of my life... this part right here? This is called "happyness."

Christopher Gardner

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