Bruce: Is this heaven?
God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.
[pause]
Bruce: I'm *dead*?
God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce: That's not funny, Man! That is *not* funny.

I'm a Bondurant. We don't lay down for nobody.

Forrest

We may not be gods. But we do what people say can't be done, we hope when there isn't any... whatever odds we face, we prevail.

Andromeda

When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.

Chief Dave

Peter Parker: A hundred bucks? The ad said three thousand.
Wrestling Promoter: Well, check it again, web head. The ad said three grand, for three minutes, and you pinned him in two. For that I give you a hundred, and you're lucky to get that.
Peter Parker: I need that money.
Wrestling Promoter: I missed the part where that's my problem.

You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!

Reuben

Leslie: Da na da na!
Penny: You're wearing nut-huggers!

Cornelius Fudge: Now write your name only.
Dumbledore: It's quite a long name.

Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?

Kirk Lazarus

April: You and me, it'd kinda be like cats and dogs.
Will Hayes: Oil and water.
April: Sand paper and bare ass.
Will Hayes: That's gross.

Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.
Theodore: And his assistant.

Larry: So Anna tell me your bloke wrote a book. Any good?
Alice: Of course.
Larry: It's about you isn't it?
Alice: Some of me.
Larry: Oh? What did he leave out?
Alice: The truth.

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