God didn't do this. We did!


Lewis: Why is your dog wearing glasses?
Grandpa Bud: Oh, because his insurance won't pay for contacts.

Houston, we have a problem.

Jim Lovell

I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?

Jerry Maguire

Arnold: A winner is someone who doesn't knock me off my surfboard. Especially Tank, he's definitely not a winner.
Smudge: He's a dirty trash can full of poop.

David Mills: [answers phone] Hello?
John Doe: I admire you. I don't know how you found me, but imagine my surprise. I respect you law enforcement agents more everyday.

Jesse Aarons: It's just that you're a good builder... for a girl.
Leslie Burke: Yeah, well, you're pretty good at art... for a boy!
Jesse Aarons: Okay, okay, truce.

Nick: "You know that last month you made me work so late that I missed saying goodbye to my Gam-Gam?"
Dave: "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick: "My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left early I'd get fired - and she died before I made it to the hospital."
Dave: "I'm sorry."
Nick: "Thank you."
Dave: "I had no idea that you called your grandmother 'Gam-Gam.' (laughing hysterically) "Sorry. Sorry that you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam-Gam..."

The Dude: Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man.
Walter Sobchak: Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Smokey: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8.
Walter Sobchak: [pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
The Dude: Walter...
Walter Sobchak: You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.
Smokey: I'm not...
Walter Sobchak: A world of pain.

Rudeness is an epidemic.

Hannibal Lecter

Andy Sachs: [seeing Nigel with a black gown] I love that! Will that fit me?
Nigel: A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business.

I don't think Mommy likes me very much. It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own.


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