Woody: [in Bonnie's room] Look, I just need to get out of here...
Buttercup: [dramatically] There is no way out!
[Woody stares at him in horror]
Buttercup: Just kidding. Door's right over there.
[he points]

Johnny Cash: Tell me you don't love me.
June Carter: I don't love you.
Johnny Cash: You're a liar.
June Carter: I guess you ain't go no problems then.

[Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank god for rednecks!

Tallahassee

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard. Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well, why don't you just go by Mike... instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Kelly Robinson: Hey, what's this? It looks like a sock.
Alexander Scott: It's a secret spy mask.
[Kelly puts it on]
Kelly Robinson: Hey man, this is a sock!

Patrick Gates: [to Abigail] And he dragged you two into this nonsense?
Abigail Chase: Literally.
Riley Poole: I volunteered.

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle

Oh man shut your anorexic malnutrition tapeworm-having overdose on Dick Gregory Bohemian diet-drinking ass up. Leave me alone!

Sidney Deane

Prince Edward: Have you any last words?
Robert: You have got to be kidding me!
Prince Edward: Strange words.

Jeffy just doesn't know what's happening to his body...

Steve Barker

You guys are pros. The best. I'm sure you can make it out of the casino. Of course, lest we forget, once you're out the front door, you're still in the middle of the fucking desert!

Reuben

We wearin' Earth Mamma's natural night camo.

Kirk Lazarus

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