Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal.

Deputy Travis Junior

Besides, what are we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that, there's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Louise Sawyer

This is Jason Bourne, the toughest target that you have ever tracked. He is really good at staying alive, and trying to kill him and failing... just pisses him off.

Pamela Landy

Josh: You know maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

[narrating] She looks at me everyday. Mary Jane Watson. Oh boy! If she only knew how I felt about her. But she can never know. I made a choice once to live a life of responsibility. A life she can never be a part of. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man, given a job to do. And I'm Peter Parker, and I too have a job.

Peter Parker

Nemo: Hey dad! Maybe when I'm at school, I'll see a shark.
Marlin: I highly doubt it.
Nemo: Have how ever met a shark?
Marlin: No, and I don't plan to.
Nemo: How old are sea turtles?
Marlin: Sea turtles? I don't know.
Nemo: Sandy Plankton from next door, he says they live to be 100.
Marlin: Well, if I ever meet a sea turtle I'll ask him, right after I'm done talking to the shark.

Ethan Hunt: Who are you really, Brandt?
Brandt: We all have our secrets. Don't we, Ethan?

Tiberius Caesar: [Tiberius Caesar sees Judah Ben-Hur, in Arrius' chariot] This man riding beside you, who is he?
Quintus Arrius: The man who saved me, divine Emperor, to return and serve you.
Tiberius Caesar: Is that all you know of him?
Quintus Arrius: No. He was accused of an attack on the governor of Judea. But he was innocent.
Tiberius Caesar: If not, there is a strange inconsistency in this man, who tries to kill my governor, yet saves the life of my Consul. Come tomorrow, and we will talk of him.

I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, I'd bet on you.


I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!

Steve Stifler

Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.

Mike McDermott

Officer Shawn: [on the phone, about Donna] Where is she?
Officer: She's at her senior prom.
Officer Shawn: [about Richard Fenton] He escaped from jail!

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