Bill: Pai Mei taught you the five point palm-exploding heart technique?
The Bride: Of course he did.
Bill: Why didn't you tell me?
The Bride: I don't know... because I'm a bad person.
Bill: No. You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt.

Me and the judge have a special relationship... I don't wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for drugs.

Gayle Sweeny

Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

Complaining Fan: Move that gigantic cotton candy!
Local Officer Rando: God dammit!
[hits man with cotton candy]
Local Officer Rando: How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch?

Captain: They look thirsty!
King Leonidas: Well, let's give them something to drink! To the cliffs!

Virgil Malloy: Doesn't this guy believe in fresh air?
Rusty Ryan: He opens the second floor window every now and then.
Virgil Malloy: What does that mean?
Rusty Ryan: It means he opens the second floor window every now and then.

[watching George react to the knowledge that his mother is seriously ill] Magnificent. The boy is gone. In the last 30 seconds... you became a grown-up.

J.M. Barrie

Bartender: [over the background noise] How's the game going?
Rusty: Longest hour of my life.
Bartender: [not hearing him] What?
Rusty: I'm running away with your wife.
Bartender: Great!

McConnely: There's Man's Law and there's God's Law in this neighborhood and in this city... The San Francisco Police Force is happy to enforce either.
Harvey Milk: Thanks for the warm welcome to the neighborhood!

What? Since when did tard become politically incorrect?

Gary

You'll be sorry! You'll all be sorry, you rats!

Photographer

Baby, I love this because you gave it to me, but it is one fuckin ugly tie.
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Teddy Daniels

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