Kevin: Well, you're all I think about.
Leslie: Me?
Kevin: And I think the reason I'm not interested in other women, and why I haven't had sex in so long, is because I'm desperately, completely in love with you.

Dr. Patel: I will not tolerate this business from you any longer. You have one more interview tomorrow morning, and if I hear from Dr. Wein that you are anything short of spectacular, I'll completely cut you off.
Kumar: Dad, come on.
Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything!

Capt. Ramsey: Mr. COB!
Chief of the Boat: Yes, sir?
Capt. Ramsey: You're aware of the name of this ship, aren't you Mr. COB?
Chief of the Boat: Very aware, sir!
Capt. Ramsey: It bears a proud name, doesn't it, Mr. COB?
Chief of the Boat: Very proud, sir!
Capt. Ramsey: It represents fine people.
Chief of the Boat: Very fine people, sir!
Capt. Ramsey: Who live in a fine, outstanding state.
Chief of the Boat: Outstanding, sir!
Capt. Ramsey: In the greatest country in the entire world.
Chief of the Boat: In the entire world, sir!
Capt. Ramsey: And what is that name, Mr. COB?
Chief of the Boat: Alabama, sir!
Capt. Ramsey: And what do we say?
Capt. Ramsey, Chief of the Boat: Go 'Bama!
Everyone: Roll Tide!

I need to speak to the Jedi Council. The situation has become much more complicated.

Qui-Gon Jinn

Candy stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.

Marla Singer

We'll be reunited at Cal State Dominguez Hills! I'll be the experienced sophomore, you'll be the hot new freshman. It'll be just like high school, only better. Dorm rooms.

Aaron

Coach Yoast: I think this is a very good time for prayer and reflection...
Bertier: Coach, I'm hurt. I'm not dead.

These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world... and then we fucked up the endgame.

Charlie Wilson

Until a trial, when she sees her husband suffer the way she never intended. She was prepared to tell the truth, right up to the very end. But magically, the charges were dismissed.

Barbara Sabich

Louis: You sure this is the right blind voodoo lady who lives in the boat in the tree in the bayou?
Ray: Pretty sure.

Deputy Chief Hardy: We're reviving a canceled undercover police program from the 80s. You idiots are officially transferred.
Jenko: Where do we report?
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 21 Jump Street.

Rickey: What kinda name is LeeJohn anyway?
LeeJohn: My mom had two boyfriends, Lee and John. She didn't know who my daddy was, so she named me LeeJohn.
Rickey: [after a pause] I dunno if I would have shared that.

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