Bear... bearfucker, do you need assistance?

Officer Smy

Everybody panic! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love tender meat.

Jackie Moon

We just had sex in a church! I can't believe we haven't been struck buy lightening yet!

Tess Finnegan

Extra Cheese is two dollars.


Tickets. Money. Speech. Old Washington joke... from my days with Lyndon.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

First person that comes out this fucking door gets a... gets a *lead salad*, you understand?


Come on, Thorny, what game are you playing here? I can say "meow". I can say "moo". For twenty bucks, I'll call the guy a "chicken fucker".


I will always love but the fact is you don't know me and I'm just a stranger.


I was gonna have you sing 'Burn it Up' by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.


I'm Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white.

Winston Zeddemore

Blogging is not writing. It's just graffiti with punctuation.

Dr. Ian Sussman

Years ago I wrote this short story about my Mother called "The Castrating Zionist"

Isaac Davis

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