Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.

Mike McDermott

Brad Hamilton: Why don't you get a job Spicoli?
Jeff Spicoli: What for?
Brad Hamilton: You need money.
Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.

Professor Snape: Which one of you can tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?
[Hermione raises her hand]
Professor Snape: No-one? How disappointing.

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks: "Empire".
Randal Graves: Blasphemy.
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

Ethan Hunt: Who are you really, Brandt?
Brandt: We all have our secrets. Don't we, Ethan?

Herman Blume: You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.

Forget any of this happened. Stay away from people like me.

Nikolai Luzhin

It's what everybody in this car needs is some good ol' worthwhile visceral experience.

Mike

I need to speak to the Jedi Council. The situation has become much more complicated.

Qui-Gon Jinn

Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose.

Hitch

John Lennon is rolling over in his grave to hide the giant boner you just gave him!

David Marshall

Buttercup: [kisses senile King]
The King: What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.
The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me!

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