Blogging is not writing. It's just graffiti with punctuation.

Dr. Ian Sussman

Years ago I wrote this short story about my Mother called "The Castrating Zionist"

Isaac Davis

Elrond: Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the ring.
Pippin: Great! Where are we going?

Mitch Burns: I swear, the minute I saw her I felt like I was in the room with an angel.
Dan Burns: Yeah, well, this corn is an angel.

Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

Alan Garner

Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: [speaking to Blonsky in his hospital bed] How are you feeling?
Emil Blonsky: Pissed off, and ready for round three.

A drug dealer? No. Did he sell a little weed? Yeah.

Sonny Truelove

Priest Vito Cornelius: You're a monster, Zorg.
Zorg: I know.

The one ring to rule them all.


Ben: Look who made the trip with me.
Andie: It's our love fern! Oh, Bennie-boo-boo, boo-boo.

This is the stupidest group of people I've ever worked with who are not legally retarded.

Lieutenant Jim Dangle

Harold: Officer, I'm glad you're here. You ever heard of that show, Doogie Houser, MD?
Officer Palumbo: Yeah, what great show. Doogie.
Harold: Neil Patrick Harris just stole my car.
Officer Palumbo: Hey! NPH wouldn't do that, 'ight!

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