Narrator: Tyler, what the fuck is going on here?
Tyler Durden: I ask you for one thing, one simple thing.
Narrator: Why do people think that I'm you? Answer me!
Tyler Durden: Sit.
Narrator: Now answer me, why do people think that I'm you.
Tyler Durden: I think you know.
Narrator: No, I don't.
Tyler Durden: Yes, you do. Why would anyone possibly confuse you with me?
Narrator: Uh... I... I don't know.

Hedley Lamarr: [cuts in line] You dropped your beads. One please... Uhh... Student?
Cashier: Are you kidding?
Hedley Lamarr: Pain in the ASS...

Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Kelly

Sean: I call dibs on the mountain climber.
Trevor: What? You're thirteen; you can't call dibs.

The average person touches their face three to five times every waking minute. In between that we're touching door knobs, water fountains, and each other.

Dr. Erin Mears

Patrick Gates: What is that animal skin? How old is it?
Ben Gates: About 200 years.
Patrick Gates: Sure?
Ben Gates: Pretty darn.

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

Does the term "cruel and unusual punishment" mean anything to you?

Blue Stanton

General Patton has said that wars are fought with weapons but are won by men. Our goal is to create the greatest army in history. But every army begins with one man. He will be the first in a new breed of super-soldier. We are going to win this war because we have the best men. And they, personally, will escort Adolf Hitler to the gates of Hell.

Colonel Chester Phillips

Chad: Is it the eggs?
Dylan: It's not the eggs.
Chad: Is it the boat?
Dylan: No, it's not the boat, I have to go though.
Chad: Is it the Chad?
Dylan: It might be the Chad.
Chad: The Chad... It's the Chad!
[Chad falls into the water]

Oh, isn't that wonderful? All the lowlifes in quiet city Boston are dropping dead and *you* think it's unrelated! Greenly, the day I want the Boston Police to do my thinking for me, I will have a fucking tag on my toe!

Paul Smecker

Jay: I am gonna hang your old ass by your turban.
Mooj: Oh, turban now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say 'Hey Jay, you want a slippy? You wanna slippy?' Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn, Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?

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