Jane: I think you should just admit that you're a big softy. That this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem wounded, and mysterious, and sexy.
Kevin: [pause] . Woah, woah, woah. What was the last one?
Jane: What?
Kevin: Did you say sexy?
Jane: What?
Kevin: Do you think I'm sexy?
Jane: No.
Kevin: Its OK if you do.
Jane: I don't.

Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too!

Kendric, quatermaster: Morning, colonel. Change your mind about that bottle?
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: I want 600 pairs of shoes and 1200 pairs of socks... and anything else you've been holding out on us, you piece of rat filth!
Kendric, quatermaster: I don't have any.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: Not for niggers you don't!
Kendric, quatermaster: Not for anybody.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: I see. I'll just look around to see if you haven't misplaced them!

Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross: [speaking to Blonsky in his hospital bed] How are you feeling?
Emil Blonsky: Pissed off, and ready for round three.

Maya Hayes: What's a threesome?
Will Hayes: It's a game, that adults play sometimes... When they're bored.
Maya Hayes: ...Whatever.

Tiberius Caesar: [Tiberius Caesar sees Judah Ben-Hur, in Arrius' chariot] This man riding beside you, who is he?
Quintus Arrius: The man who saved me, divine Emperor, to return and serve you.
Tiberius Caesar: Is that all you know of him?
Quintus Arrius: No. He was accused of an attack on the governor of Judea. But he was innocent.
Tiberius Caesar: If not, there is a strange inconsistency in this man, who tries to kill my governor, yet saves the life of my Consul. Come tomorrow, and we will talk of him.

I am angry all the time... and I don't know why.

Jean

Julie: Who's Toby?
Young Kristi: He's my friend.
Julie: I don't see him.
Young Kristi: He's standing right next to you.

You know, Dr. Evil, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see you're nuts.

Austin Powers

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.

Metatron

Fin: Do you guys love each other?
[Young Noah snickers]
Fin: Oh I get it, you guys do love each other!
Young Noah: Okay. Goodbye

FREE Movie Newsletter