[after his wound is cleaned] That'll wake you up in the mornin'.Campbell
Grissom: Your life won't be worth spit!
The Joker: I've been dead once already, its very liberating. You should think of it as therapy.
Grissom: Jack, maybe we can cut a deal.
The Joker: Jack?
The Joker: Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me Joker and as you can see I'm a lot happier.
C-3PO: I do believe they think I am some kind of god.
Han Solo: Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?
C-3PO: I beg your pardon General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper.
Han Solo: Proper?
C-3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.
Mr. Allen, Master: Sir, might we press you for an anecdote?
Capt. Jack Aubrey: The first time he spoke to me... I shall never forget his words. I remember it like it was yesterday. He leaned across the table, he looked me straight in the eye, and he said "Aubrey... may I trouble you for the salt?"
Daisy: You're so young.
Benjamin Button: Only on the outside.
Lawrence Jamieson: Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.
McGivern: If I don't get total tit tonight, I will be using this razor to cut my throat. As I see it, sex is my only reason for living.
Charlie Dillon: Then be careful you don't cut your hand.
Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.Michael Corleone
Jack Byrnes: Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker: Pam? Are you kidding... yes, yes Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes: Even after her body has endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker: Yes, even after that, it's all good, it's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes: That's disgusting.
Sam Flynn: Alan, you're acting like I'm going to find him sittin' at work, just, "Hey, kiddo, lost track of time."
Alan Bradley: Wouldn't that be something.
Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.
Arthur: You used to say, [lowers voice] "Arthur, you can do anything under the sun".
Hobson: I never spoke like that.
Arthur: It was a bit like that.