Late Night Courier: Gaylord M. Focker?
Greg Focker: That's me.
Jack Byrnes: I thought your name was Greg.
Greg Focker: It is.
Late Night Courier: That's not what it says here.
Greg Focker: Gaylord is my legal name. Nobody's called me by it since third grade.
Denny Byrnes: Wait a minute, so your name is Gay Focker?

Hey guys. Woah, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see ya later

Lloyd

Captain Ramius: It reminds me of the heady days of Sputnik and Yuri Gagarin when the world trembled at the sound of our rockets. Now they will tremble again - at the sound of our silence. The order is: engage the silent drive.

Dan: [impersonating a woman in a chat room] DDW: wait have 2 type with 1 hand am cumming right now... ohohohohoh ohoho hohohohoh ohohohoo hohoooo ooooooooooo oooo oooooooo oooooooooo oooooo oooooo+_*&^%$£!£$%&*&*^%&^%$££D!$ %^&**&**&&*12 3038948485 75us7sjc7d78s8 7o/s8 78us uiu7sbom/
Larry: DOC9: was it good?
Dan: DDW: no

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Uhhh. Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual, work.

At this point, you might be asking yourself, 'why am I holding this 30lb. Cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, 'why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?

Mitch

Pyro: I'm driving.
Wolverine: Maybe next time.

Penny Pingleton, you know you are punished. From now on your wearing a giant P on your blouse EVERY DAY to school so that the whole world knows that Penny Pingleton is permanently, positively, punished.

Prudence

Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently.

Haziz

Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.
Harold Crick: What is wrong with you? Hey, I don't want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led... and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.

I hate to break it to you, but the American dream is in China.

Bert Hanson

Hooper: Check this shit. You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!
Banky Edwards: What's a "Nubian"?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up!

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