Christopher: Knock knock.
Christopher Gardner: Who's there?
Christopher Gardner: Shelby who?
Christopher: Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes!
Christopher Gardner: Hey, that's good.
Melissa: You really love animals, don't you?
Ace Ventura: If it gets cold enough.
RamÃ³n: You just got to do exactly what I say!
RamÃ³n: Did I say "okay"?
RamÃ³n: No. What did I say?
Mumble: Do exactly what you say.
RamÃ³n: EXACTLY what I say!
From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm gonna get you laid.Jay
Dan: Knock, knock.
Drey: Who's there?
Dan: The Interrupting Cow.
Drey: The Interrupting Cow, who?
Dan: [realizing he's blown the joke] ... Moooooo.
Drey: [laughing] That was horrible!
Life is one fuckin' beauty contest after another.Dwayne
I can't feel my legs... Keyser.Keaton
You shouldn't take life to seriously. You'll never get out alive.Van Wilder
I let my haters be my motivators!Karl
Classified: You were supposed to handcuff them.
Short Fuse: But, they don't have hands. They just have flippers, and I have flippers! So it's flipping useless!
It's a big blue-ish green man... with a strange-looking goatee... I'm guessing that's significant.Riley Poole
[hugs the statue]
Admiral Benson: I slipped on a crab. Who put that crab there?
Lt. Commander Block: I don't see any crab, sir.
Admiral Benson: Don't tell me. There were two crabs. They work in pairs. I went to Annapolis for chrissakes!