A pity they let the old punishment die... Was a time detention found you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons... God, I miss the screaming.

Caretaker Argus Filch

Brutus "Brutal" Howell: Oh, my God. The tail. Look at the tail.
Dean Stanton: What... what did you do?
John Coffey: I helped it.

That 'Leave it to Beaver' line almost killed me.

B. Rabbit

[to Jake] Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!

Willie Mays Hayes

Margaret Tate: Why didn't you tell me you're some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?
Andrew Paxton: We were in the middle of talking about you... for the last 3 years.

You took the purest thing in your life and corrupted it, for what? For what?

Pete Bell

Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.


Hi there. From my neck of the woods, eh? Sorry if I took a snap at you at one time. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta eat.


Some men get the world. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona.

Lynn Bracken

MILF Guy #2: Dude that chick's a MILF!
MILF Guy #1: What the hell is that?
MILF Guy #2: M-I-L-F... Mom I'd Like to Fuck!
MILF Guy #1: Yeah, dude! Yeah!

She loved you, you know that?

Bill Burke

Fan: I love these guys! You know what? they're like Bill and Ted meet... Cheech and Chong!
Holden McNeil: Yeah... I kinda like to think of them as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meet Vladamir and Estragon.
Fan: Yes! ... Who?

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