Jackie Moon: In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

The wrapper says 'Ribbed for her pleasure' but turn it inside out and it's ribbed for YOUR pleasure.

Pope Sweet Jesus

There's sperm everywhere. I cracked a blanket in half.

Rita

Jack: Those assholes got balls.
Red: I'm gonna put them in my mouth and chew on them!
Jack: You're gonna put what in your mouth?

To serve people takes dignity and intelligence. But remember, they are only people with money. And although we serve them, we are not their servants. What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.

Lionel

Reed Rothchild: TODD... PARKER!
Todd Parker: Rockin' Reid Rothchild!
Reed Rothchild: You made it! Woo-Hoo!
Todd Parker: Amazing party man! Fuckin chicks everywhere!
Reed Rothchild: You bet. Compliments of Jack Horner. Thank you.
Todd Parker: I wouldn't mind me having a piece of that action right over there
Reed Rothchild: Michelle, I'll introduce you.
Todd Parker: Sure, Introduce her to my lap!

Peter Gibbons: Um, the 7-Eleven, right? You take a penny from the tray.
Joanna: From the crippled children?
Peter Gibbons: No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray, the pennies for everybody. We're basically doing the same thing only we take it from a much bigger tray and we do it a couple of million times.

[voiceover] Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied.

Peter Parker

[last lines]
Doug Billings: We look at these pictures together, ok? One time. And then we delete the evidence.
Stu Price: I say we delete it right now.
Phil Wenneck: Are you nut? I want to find out how I went to the hospital. Is that in there?
Alan Garner: Yeah it's in there!
Doug Billings: Guys, one time. Deal?
Phil Wenneck: Deal!
Stu Price: Deal.
Alan Garner: Ok.
Stu Price: [the four of them look into the camera] Oh dear Lord!
Alan Garner: That's classic!

Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

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