[sees Shrek naked] Aahh! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!


Aca-Wiedersehen bitches!


Grandpa: Again with the fucking chicken.
Richard: Dad.
Grandpa: It's always with the goddamn fucking chicken.

And now people. And now people. When I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. I said when I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls, departed from this life.

Reverend Cleophus James

And tonight, you're gonna break your one rule...

The Joker

Are we forming some sort of wizard army?

Ron Weasley

Jocelyn: Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.
Wat: It's called a lance. Hello?

Mike Tyson: By the way man, where you get that cop car from?
Stu Price: We uh, stole it from these dumbass cops.
Mike Tyson: *Nice*!
Mike Tyson: *Nice*! High five there!... That's nice!

Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.

Miranda Hobbes

Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my $12,000 calf skin jacket. So ya got the semen, okay you got the human ejaculate ... [checks watch] ... thats been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric fuckin fibers...
Hugo Croop: If you like I send out?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a fuckin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
Hugo Croop: Do you want an apology?
Buddy 'Aces' Israel: Only if you really truly mean it.

Tombstone Marshal Fred White: Come on boys. We don't want any trouble in here. Not in any language.
Doc Holliday: Evidently Mr. Ringo's an educated man. Now I really hate him.

Mrs. Jones: Craig, you know what your problem is? You have no game.
Craig Jones: What do you know about game? I got ALL the game.
Mrs. Jones: Now your father... he has game.
Mr. Jones: [coming out of the bathroom] Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. Somebody open up a window.
Craig Jones: You call that game?

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