You're sweating like a human... next it will be tears.

Hades

Captain's Log, stardate 9529.1. This is the final cruise of the Starship Enterprise under my command. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of another crew. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun, and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man... where no *one* has gone before.

Captain James T. Kirk

Lou: "Who took my f***in' shoe?!"
Jacob: "Blaine apparently beat your shoe off of you, which -- I don't even know how that could f***in' happen."

Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!

Lewis: Why is your dog wearing glasses?
Grandpa Bud: Oh, because his insurance won't pay for contacts.

I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.

Polly Prince

You think it's a Schwinn!

Chad Feldheimer

Here come the local pubescent prowls. The future plumbers, shop assistants, and probably terrorists too. In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and whack mags. Now it's knives and crack cocaine. And they call it progress.

Barbara Covett

Oh, and next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. [silence] So, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Bill Lumbergh

[reading aloud from the newspaper] Your birthday today, Daisy. This year you have to make a choice between two life paths. Second chances comes your way. Extraordinary events culminate in what might seem to be an anticlimax. Your lucky numbers are 84, 23, 11, 78, and 99. What a load of shit.

Walt Kowalski

I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, it's so bleedin' boring, isn't it?

Raymond Calitri

[Standing in front of the Declaration of Independence] 180 years of searching and I'm 3 feet away.

Ben Gates

FREE Movie Newsletter