Now, do you know what a clitoris is?

Jim's Dad

Oh ok, I'll just go fuck myself then.

Matthew

[Homer is whipping the dogs pulling his sled]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!
[the dogs jump over a cliff]
Homer Simpson: Jump! Jump!
[the dogs land on the other side]
Homer Simpson: Land! Land!
[the dogs take a breather]
Homer Simpson: Rest! Rest!
[the dogs pull the sled again]
Homer Simpson: Run! Run!
[Homer sets up camp and begins removing the dog muzzles]
Homer Simpson: Okay, I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put that all behind us and...
[the dogs start attacking Homer, causing him to scream in pain]
Homer Simpson: AGH! Not my whipping arm!
[the dogs leave Homer stranded]
Homer Simpson: Why does everything I whip leave me?

She's the village bicycle! Everybody's had a ride.

Austin Powers

Girl In Restaurant: So what, are you all like alternative now?
Bliss Cavendar: Alternative to what?

Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Take off your socks and put on your crocs, We're getting wet.

Tony Stark

Johnny Cash: Tell me you don't love me.
June Carter: I don't love you.
Johnny Cash: You're a liar.
June Carter: I guess you ain't go no problems then.

Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

The average person touches their face three to five times every waking minute. In between that we're touching door knobs, water fountains, and each other.

Dr. Erin Mears

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

Captain: They look thirsty!
King Leonidas: Well, let's give them something to drink! To the cliffs!

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