[on the phone] I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.

Elaine Miller

I don't dodge guilt... and I don't Jew out of paying my comeuppance.

Budd

Rose: I don't know the steps!
Jack: Neither do I! Just go with it!

Boon: I gotta work on my game.
Otter: No, no, no, don't think of it as work. The whole point is just to enjoy yourself.

I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

Agent Smith

I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.

Stu

MacGruber: Your companion is a very beautiful young woman.
Dieter Von Cunth: Thank you.
MacGruber: I hope you enjoy being date raped, ma'am.
Dieter Von Cunth: This is my daughter.

Horton: I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.
Morton: [sighs] An elephant's faithful one hundred percent.
Horton: That's my code, my motto.

I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him.
For all I know he had me set up and had my friend Angel Fernandez killed. But that's history. I'm here, he's not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don't, then you make a move.

Tony Montana

I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number.

B.O.B.

I will not touch the white man's poison; his drugs, his liquor, his swine, his women.

Malcolm X

If ripping throats gets that warhead back, I'll suck as many dicks as I've go-- I'll rip as many throats as I have to!

MacGruber

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