Cher: If it's a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.
Elton: What's seven times seven?
Cher: Stuff she knows.

Sally Albright: Is Harry bringing anybody to the wedding?
Marie: I don't think so.
Sally Albright: Is he seeing anybody?
Marie: He was seeing this anthropologist, but...
Sally Albright: What's she look like?
Marie: Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare.

Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.

Nash

The best thing about being me... There are so many "me"s.
[All the doors open, lots of Smith clones step out]

Agent Smith

Oh, and next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. [silence] So, you know, if you want to you can go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Bill Lumbergh

Time sure flies when you're young and jerking off.

Jim Carroll

MacGruber: Your companion is a very beautiful young woman.
Dieter Von Cunth: Thank you.
MacGruber: I hope you enjoy being date raped, ma'am.
Dieter Von Cunth: This is my daughter.

Day one, greenie, rise and shine

Gally

I can't even get my cat to use the litter box.

Rita

Busty Female Shop Assistant: Is this some kind of bust?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Well, it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions.

You don't have what they call "the social skills." That's why you never have any friends, 'cept fo' yo' mama.

Mama Boucher

I'll do or say anything if I believe in it, but I have to believe in the cause.

Stephen Myers

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