Let's get pissed and watch porn

Billy Mack

Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

...And will you, for the love of God, put on a fucking shirt?

Phil Foster

[Tyler and Narrator are discussing ideal opponents]
Tyler Durden: OK: any historic figure.
Narrator: I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden: Good answer.
Narrator: How about you?
Tyler Durden: Lincoln.
Narrator: Lincoln?
Tyler Durden: Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.

Officer: Do you have anything to say?
Alfred Borden: Abracadabra.

Walter Sobchak: He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger...
The Dude: The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose.
Walter Sobchak: Near the In-and-Out Burger...
Donny: Those are good burgers, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Frodo: I will take it. I will take the Ring to Mordor...
[Everyone falls silent]
Frodo: ...though I do not know the way.

I'm a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?

Hitch

Seriously, who is this? Is this Burt from accounting?

The Mayor of Who-ville

So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don't you know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well, I just don't understand it.

Marge Gunderson

This guy ain't a gangster, his real name is Clarence.

B. Rabbit

Woody: What happened to you?
Buzz: One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and, suddenly, you find yourself sucking down Darjeeling with Marie Antoinette... and her little sister.

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