Anita Miller: FECK YOU!
Elaine Miller: HEY!
Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!
Elaine Miller: Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word.
Young William: I think she said "feck."
Elaine Miller: What's the difference?
Young William: The letter "u."

Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.
Thurgood Jenkins: You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether." With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln

Forgive me if I don't shake hands.

Doc Holliday

Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here?

Gentlemen start your engines! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Neil Patrick Harris

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs.

Gigi

God didn't do this. We did!

Neville

Rusty: God, I'm bored!
Danny: You look bored.
Rusty: I am bored!
Rusty: How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent?
Danny: Why do you think I came to see you first?

God must be a painter. Why else would we have so many colors?

Alicia

Ha, your pig fiance is too late!

Westley

Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.

Cady

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