Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

Oogway

Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.

Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Lets put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious?

The Joker

No one. He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.

Jack Sparrow

You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef. Let's fight.

Scott Pilgrim

Billy-Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.

Billy Madison

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Aibileen Clark

Han Solo: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.
Voice: What happened?
Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
[winces]
Voice: We're sending a squad up.
Han Solo: Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a minute to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
Voice: Who is this? What's your operating number?
Han Solo: Uh...

Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here?

Doc

He kill them wi' their love. Wi' their love fo' each other. That's how it is, every day, all over the world.

John Coffey

Frank: I had an awesome time!
Beanie: I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows you had an awesome time.

Pete: There are five chairs in this hotel room!
Ben Stone: That's WAY too many chairs for one hotel room!

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