Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it. Okay, promise? Okay, now everybody take some rubbers.

Coach Carr

Landon: Do you love me?
[she nods]
Landon: Will you do something for me, then?
Jamie: [smiles] Anything.
Landon: Will you marry me?

Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever.

Edward Cullen

What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect.

Aldous Snow

Fuck off, Death!

Borat

Persian Emissary: This is madness!
Spartan King Leonidas: Madness? This is Sparta!

Jamie: Without suffering there would be no compassion.
Landon: Yeah, well tell that to those who suffer.

I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on roller skates -- it means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us.

General Aladeen

Borat: Do Jesus love my neighbor, Nusultan Tulyakbay?
Pentecostal church pastor: Yes, Jesus loves your neighbor.
Borat: [correcting him] Nobody like my neighbor Nusultan Tulyakbay.

No, what you have are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty, I'm no longer standing, because if I am... you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.

V

Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it.

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...

Ron Burgundy

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