Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it.

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...

Ron Burgundy

Madame, I need you to remain calm and trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow lies the key to my release.

Sherlock Holmes

[as he sees rock-like crabs] Now we're being followed by rocks. Never heard that before.

Jack Sparrow

Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Phil Wenneck

Tyler Durden: Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
Narrator: No, no, I... don't...
Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
Narrator: It isn't?

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I had a dream where Jesus was a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, theres something special about him...
Ricky Bobby: Because it was Jesus right...
Cal Naughton, Jr.: yeah..

Cal: [David and Cal Playing a video Game] You're *gay* now?
David: No, I'm not gay I'm just celibate.
Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like... there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm I'm a g-gay guy now".
David: You're gay for saying that.
Cal: I'm gay for saying that?
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

Hermione: Ron, you don't suppose this is going to be like . . real wizard's chess, do you?
[one of the giant white pawns crosses the board, and smashes the black pawn with a violent blow]
Ron: Yes, Hermione, I think this is going to be exactly like wizard's chess.

Everyone has an angel. A guardian who watches over us. We can't know what form they'll take. One day, old man. Next Day, little girl. But don't let appearances fool you. They can be as fierce as any dragon. Yet they're not here to fight our battles. But to whisper from our heart, reminding that it's us. It's everyone of us who holds the power over the worlds we create.

Sweetpea

Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

Napoleon Dynamite

[to Madolyn] If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.

Colin Sullivan

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