[after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.

Ron Burgundy

Jeremy Grey: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's an interesting combination.
Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?
Jeremy Grey: Not as much as I do with your attire, or just your general point of view toward everybody here. But hey, lets go kill some birds. I'm psyched.

If you had a sister and a dog, I'd choose the dog.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan is number one exporter of potassium, Other Central Asian countries have inferior potassium.


Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!

The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of men, who, above all else, desire power. But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. And into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.


Jack Sparrow: I love this song. Really bad eggs. Ooh.
Jack Sparrow: When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time.
Elizabeth: And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Spanish Main.
Jack Sparrow: Not just the Spanish Main, luv. The entire ocean. The entire wo'ld. Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom.

Gypsy, who is this woman you have shrunk?


You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.

Christopher Gardner

Loud noises!

Brick Tamland

Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.

Tyler Durden

Brian Fantana: Where is the suit store? We've been walking for forty-five minutes.
Champ Kind: Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
Brick Tamland: Fantastic.
Ron Burgundy: Well, is it a shortcut or not?
Brick Tamland: Okay.

FREE Movie Newsletter