You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?

Jack Sparrow

Evey Hammond: My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth while politicians use them to cover it up.
V: A man after my own heart.

Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon Dynamite: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?

Derek Zoolander: Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogalizor I am.
Matilda: What?
Derek Zoolander: A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?

Will Turner: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

Professor Severus Snape: There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few...
[stares at Draco Malfoy]
Professor Severus Snape: Who possess, the predisposition... I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.
[notices Harry scribbling on his paper]
Professor Severus Snape: Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to NOT-PAY-ATTENTION.
[steps over to Harry]
Professor Severus Snape: Mister Potter. Our new... celebrity.

King Leonidas: My heart is broken for your loss.
Captain: Heart? I have filled my heart with hate.
King Leonidas: Good.

I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream, "I love my best friend, Evan."


Rex: At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?
[points to Kip]
Rex: Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!

Harry Doyle: Monty, anything to add?
Color Man: Umm... no.
Harry Doyle: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you want to beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, OK? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!"
[Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them]
Murphy: You'd probably have better luck with a beer.
Connor: Aye, you would.
Detective Greenly: Fuck.
Paul Smecker: Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.

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