Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?
Lawrence: [pauses] No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.

Anakin Skywalker: I sense Count Dooku.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I sense a trap.
Anakin Skywalker: Next move?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: [smiling] Spring the trap.

Les Grossman: No, fuckhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: I wouldn't do that.
Les Grossman: I'm kidding.
Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Ah, there he is! funny. You're a funny guy.
Les Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you want to beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, OK? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!"
[Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them]
Murphy: You'd probably have better luck with a beer.
Connor: Aye, you would.
Detective Greenly: Fuck.
Paul Smecker: Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.

McLovin? Were you violating that young girl? Were you violating her with you penis?

Officer Slater

Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

You will not make this putt... jackass!


Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Uh, dad?
Mac MacGuff: Yeah?
Juno MacGuff: Either I just wet my pants... or...
Mac MacGuff: "Or"...?

As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.

Dr. Gonzo

Officer Slater: Ethnically, was he like uh... uh... African?
Liquor Store Woman: Was he African? He was like you.
Officer Michaels: He's Jewish, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.

Rose: I know what you must be thinking. "Poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery?"
Jack: No, no, that's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could've happened to this girl to make her feel she had no way out?

Rose: When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you.
Jack: This is crazy...
Rose: I know... it doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it.

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