Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.

Al Czervik

So long, gay boys!

Mr. Chow

Sam: This is it.
Frodo: This is what?
Sam: If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.
Frodo: Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."

Courage, Merry, courage for our friends.


So Duffy, have any theories to go with that tie?

Paul Smecker

[impersonating Rev. Jesse Jackson] Why we are on this particular mission, we'll never know. But I do know, here today, that the Black Knights will emerge vic-torious once again.

Capt. Jimmy Wilder

[about Gloria] She took me below deck for forty-five minutes. I have no bodily fluids left in me.

Jeremy Grey

Miss boss! We gotta get those fat cheeky bulls into that big bloody metal ship!


There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak. In the freak kingdom.

Raoul Duke

They can suck my pathetic little dick, and I'll dip my nuts in marinara sauce just so those fat bastards can get a taste of home while they're at it.


Arthur: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?
Ash: Nope. Just me baby... Just me.

Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's great? Why don't you feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.
John Beckwith: What?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean what? What a great friend. John, you have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. There's no overtime.
John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.
Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very family-oriented girl.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!

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