Happy Gilmore: You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?
Bob Barker: I don't want a PIECE of you, I want the whole THING!

[to the Orcs] There will be no Dawn... for Men.


Siegfried: How do I know you're not from CONTROL?
Maxwell Smart: If I were from CONTROL, you'd already be dead.
Siegfried: If you were from CONTROL, YOU'D already be dead.
Maxwell Smart: Neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL.
[long pause]
Shtarker: That actually makes sense.

Dalton Russell: Soon I'm gonna be sucking down piña coladas in a hot tub with six girls named Amber and Tiffany.
Keith Frazier: No, it's more like in the shower with two guys named Jamal and Jesus... and here's the bad news; that thing you're sucking on? It's not a piña colada!
Nancy Mann: Wanna take another picture? Cause I could bend over and pick up a pencil!

Tyler Durden: I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
Narrator: What? In the face?
Tyler Durden: Surprise me.
Narrator: This is so fucking stupid.

Will Turner: And then I intend to return here to marry you.
Elizabeth Swann: Properly?
Will Turner: Eagerly, if you'll still have me.
Elizabeth Swann: If it weren't for these bars, I'd have you already.

As head of security it is my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed.

Col. Quaritch

James Bond: Vodka-martini.
Bartender: Shaken or stirred?
James Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?

Harry: Hagrid warned me about the dragons!
Ron: No, no! Remember I told Hermione to tell you that Seamus told me that Dean was told by Parvati that Hagrid was looking for you. Seamus didn't really tell me anything. So it was really me all along! I thought you'd be able to figure it out from there.
Harry: How could anybody figure that out? That's completely mental!
Ron: Well, I suppose I was a bit distraught
Hermione: [Tearing up] Boys...

[being fired upon by a Predator drone]
Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck: What the Hell was that?
Capt. 'Howling Mad' Murdock: If you look out the right hand side of the aircraft you will notice that the right wing is on fire.

He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO. Shit.


Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.

Billy Madison

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