Oh, I've got one. A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fuck out of here."

Walt Kowalski

You've spun your last web, Spider-Man.

Green Goblin

Find me that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday morning.

Miranda Priestly

[to Batman] Come on, I want you do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. *Hit me!*

The Joker

Zeus: Why are you doing this?
Hades: You want me to say it, brother? You want me to say I'm afraid? Doesn't that go without saying? When mortals die, their souls go somewhere - there's no place where gods go when they die! There's nothing, just oblivion...

Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling - that James Bond shit never happens in real life! Professionals don't do that!

Paul Smecker

John J. Rambo: Are you bringing in any weapons ?
Burnett: Of course not.
John J. Rambo: You're not changin' anything...

Who's driving this car, Stevie Wonder?

John McClane

You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father's bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin' was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't. Little Forrest, he's doing just fine. About to start school again soon.
I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He's really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He's so smart, Jenny. You'd be so proud of him. I am. He, uh, wrote a letter, and he says I can't read it. I'm not supposed to, so I'll just leave it here for you. Jenny, I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan.
I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there's anything you need, I won't be far away.

Forrest Gump

Chazz: Personal philosophy: Clothing optional.

Chef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop.

The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!

The Joker

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