Jack Woltz: Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. That part is perfect for him, it'll make him a big star, and I'm gonna run him out of the business - and let me tell you why: Johnny Fontane ruined one of Woltz International's most valuable proteges. For five years we had her under training -- singing lessons, acting lessons, dancing lessons. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her, I was gonna make her a big star. And let me be even more frank, just to show you that I'm not a hard-hearted man, and that it's not all dollars and cents: She was beautiful; she was young; she was innocent. She was the greatest piece of ass I've ever had, and I've had 'em all over the world. And then Johnny Fontane comes along with his olive oil voice and guinea charm, and she runs off. She threw it all away just to make me look ridiculous! And a man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous!

Behold! The sword of Elendil!


If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo.

J. Jonah Jameson

Bitch! You know what I want! Hahahahaha! I wanna talk to Samson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden! 'Cause it's hard being black and gifted! Sometimes I wanna throw it all down and get lifted!


I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.


Do you ever wonder at what point you got to stop living up here and start living down here?

Jimmy Smith Jr

Rob Newhouse: Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right... Why do you ask, anyway?

Padmé: [crying] Anakin, you're breaking my heart! And you're going down a path I cannot follow!
Anakin Skywalker: Because of Obi-Wan?
Padmé: Because of what you've done... what you plan to do! Stop! Stop now; come back... I love you!

Buddy Kane: You like getting fucked by the King?
Carolyn Burnham: Fuck me, your majesty!

Dr Ray Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.

"What is this a P.F. Chang's?"


Nicky Santoro: Give me the fuckin' name!
Tony Dogs: Ch-Charlie M.
Nicky Santoro: Charlie M?
Tony Dogs: Charlie M.
Nicky Santoro: Charlie M? You made me pop your fuckin' eye out of your head to protect that piece of shit? Charlie M? You dumb motherfucker!
Tony Dogs: Kill me.
Nicky Santoro: I'll kill you. You motherfucker you! Frankie, do him a fuckin' favor.

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