Groundskeeper Sandy: Carl. Damn your eyes. I told you, today is the day we change the holes. Now, do it, and no more slacking off.
Carl Spackler: I'll slack you off, you fuzzy little foreigner.

Crash Davis: You just got lesson number one: don't think; it can only hurt the ball club.

You win some, you lose some. But you live, you live to fight another day.

Mr. Jones

Anakin Skywalker: You've turned her against me.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You have done that yourself.
Anakin Skywalker: You took her away from me.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Your anger and lust for power have already done that.

If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.


Lays down a monster. The fuck did you lay that down?

Teddy KGB

Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my...

Carl Spackler

Man: [aggressively] What do you want?
Ace Ventura: HDS, sir, and how are you this afternoon? All righty, then. I have a package for you.
Man: Sounds broken.
Ace Ventura: Most likely, sir. I'll bet it was something nice, though.

Detective Greenly: What if it was one guy with six guns?
Paul Smecker: Why don't you let me do the thinking, huh, genius?

Mike Teavee: Who wants a beard?
Willy Wonka: Well, beatniks for one, folk singers and motorbike riders. Y'know. All those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!

You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.

Lou Brown

Harry: What about birth control?
Erica Barry: Menopause.
Harry: [pauses] Who's the lucky boy?

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