Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?


Legolas: Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore.
[Aragorn does not move]
Legolas: You mean not to follow them.
Aragorn: Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands.
Gimli: Then it has all been in vain. The fellowship has failed.
Aragorn: Not if we hold true to each other.
Aragorn: We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let's hunt some Orc.
Gimli: YES!

In a thousand years, there will be no men and women, just wankers, and that's fine by me.

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

Aragorn: Let the lord of the Black Lands come forth, that justice be done upon him!
The Mouth of Sauron: My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?
Gandalf: We do not wish to treat with Sauron, Faithless, and Accursed; Tell your master this: The armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return.
The Mouth of Sauron: Ahh, old grey beard. I have a token I was bidden to show thee. [Pulls out Frodo's mythril vest and throws it at them]
Pippin: Frodo...
Gandalf: Silence.
Merry: No!
Gandalf: Silence!

Deb: Are they still letting you run for president?
Pedro: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.

Col. Hans Landa: Now if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. If a rat were to walk in here right now as I'm talking, would you treat it to a saucer of your delicious milk?
Perrier LaPadite: Probably not.
Col. Hans Landa: I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them. All you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere *he* would hide, but there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer's brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

I'll leave it on the steps... Steps.

Rocky Balboa

Eli: What'd you say?
Richie: Hmm? I didn't say anything.
Eli: When? Right now?

Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Mommy and Daddy would've wanted you to do it!
Stranz Van Waldenberg: Yeah, remember how they used to be alive?

What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and insuffering...


Andrew Largeman: It looks nice in here.
Gideon Largeman: Yeah, we've been doing some work to the place.
Andrew Largeman: Really?
Gideon Largeman: No, I don't know why I just said that.

What's the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before?
[proceeds to leap over a series of backyard fences]

Nicholas Angel

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