Danny Butterman: [after supposedly stabbing Sgt. Angel, waving a sachet of tomato ketchup] Da daaa!
Nicholas Angel: Danny, this is murder.
Danny Butterman: It's not murder, it's ketchup.
Nicholas Angel: We have to do something, Frank's appointed himself as Judge, Jury and Executioner.
Danny Butterman: [agitated and defensive] He is not Judge Judy and Executioner

I hope you're not a member of the fire brigade.

Alfred Pennyworth

I've wrestled crocodiles and dingoes simultaneously.

Fat Amy

Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Mommy and Daddy would've wanted you to do it!
Stranz Van Waldenberg: Yeah, remember how they used to be alive?

Deb: Are they still letting you run for president?
Pedro: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.

Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.
Scott Pilgrim: Hahahaha... wait, what?

Lays down a monster. The fuck did you lay that down?

Teddy KGB

This is what defeat looks like, bro. Your jihad is over.

Dan

Who the hell is Julius Ceasar? You know I don't follow the NBA!

Ron Burgundy

You looked like Christmas morning.

John Smith

What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and insuffering...

Cedric

Mini Me? Mini Me? For God's sake would somone put a fricken bell on him or something.

Dr. Evil

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