I have a bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Nick Naylor

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Al Czervik

Stu Price: We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan Garner: I think the cop car part's pretty cool.
Phil Wenneck: Thank you Alan!

[to Andy, in a bar] All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "tackle drunk bitches."


Doc: Reach!
Engineer: Is this a holdup?
Doc: It's a science experiment!

Walter Sobchak: Now so far, we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes.
The Dude: What about the toe?
Walter Sobchak: Forget about the fucking toe!
Waitress: Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak: Oh please, dear. For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.

Sam: I haven't even lied in like, the past two days.
Andrew Largeman: Is that true?
Sam: No.

When they tell you not to panic... that's when you run!

Jackson Curtis

To-da-loo, motherfucka!

Mr. Chow

You met me at a very strange time in my life.


I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.

Napoleon Dynamite

I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. What's the nigger gonna do? He's Samoan.


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