Old Woman: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.

Jack Sparrow: [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.

Veronica Corningstone

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.

Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big real. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen.


Detective Dolly: Nobody reported any gunshots.
Paul Smecker: This is an Irish neighborhood. I'm surprised you even got a phone call.

Molly Brown: [to the group who are dining at the same table] Hey, uh, who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you, Bruce?
Ismay: Yes, actually. I wanted to convey sheer size, and size means stability, luxury, and above all, strength.
Rose: Do you know of Dr. Freud, Mr. Ismay? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you.
Ruth: [whispering] What's gotten into you?
Rose: Excuse me.

Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree?
Rusty: I would.
Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask.

Bark like a dog.

Carl Spackler

I swear to god if you cut my head off...


Party Goer: There's a midget trapped in the oven!
Thomas: What are they saying?
Kirby: I don't know. All I heard was midget and oven.

Narrator: I'll tell you: we'll split up the week, okay? You take lymphoma, and tuberculosis...
Marla Singer: You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
Narrator: Okay, good, fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
Marla Singer: Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
Narrator: You're kidding.
Marla Singer: I don't know... am I?
Narrator: No, no! What do you want?
Marla Singer: I'll take the parasites.
Narrator: You can't have both the parasites, but while you take the blood parasites...
Marla Singer: I want brain parasites.
Narrator: I'll take the blood parasites. But I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia, okay?
Marla Singer: I want that.
Narrator: You can't have the whole brain, that's...
Marla Singer: So far you have four, I only have two!
Narrator: Okay. Take both the parasites. They're yours. Now we both have three...

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